Listening to the primary results on @wnyc and drawing morning glories. Tuesday evening.
In 1974, four years after publishing his first children’s book about the close friendship between Frog and Toad, the author and illustrator Arnold Lobel told his family he was gay. “I think ‘Frog and Toad’ really was the beginning of him coming out,” says his daughter, Adrianne.
EVERY THING U LOVE IS QUEER
I’ll always love Frog and Toad
Note to boomers: no one speaks like this.
holy shit is this even real
have you kids GANKED that sick radical WI-FI from the CLOUD-O-STREAMER so we can LIMEWIRE a hot BOP
Wow that’s some bullshit?
How to be a shitty parent
how is this shitty parenting if i tell you to be home at a certain time you better be there. Shit my mom would have been out looking for me.
Right? How is this shitty at all?? If i tell you to be home at a certain time you better be there or else you aren’t allowed in the home. I care about my kids safety so much I’ll endanger them when they dont listen to me.
i do not have the energy to explain why this is a shitty thing to do but yeah it’s shit
I got locked out of the house all the time just like this poor kid. Do you know how fucking cold it gets at night? NO because you’re cushy and comfortable behind those decorated glass doors! I slept in 30 °F weather. I was on the swim team so I had to wake up and run with the team at 5 am then go to class. I’d wake up with frozen hair and bugs crawling on me. I’d start crying and it would rain fucking cold water. I had no friends in the neighborhood to go to. I’m still somewhat scared of the dark.
There’s wild animals and predatory strangers and shit out there. You’re gonna put your fucking CHILD in that situation and FAIL to be their guardian at one of the most important times of day just because they made it home late? Kids make fucking mistakes, and if you aren’t prepared for that, you shouldn’t even have pets. You’re not a caretaker, you’re a lazy abusive perfectionist snot. I’d kick your ass if you were my neighbor and I saw you pulling this shit! No joke!
My roommate talks all the time about how if her kids mess around she’d smack them around, but she and a LOT of other people do not understand that punishments like those are abuse. They fuck your kid up for life.
If you leave a kid out in the cold they’re more likely to get into more trouble/danger to keep warm anyway. Who’s gonna take your kid into their home? Do you even give a shit what happens to them? No because you wanted to play god and get back at someone who is still developing. Be a fucking adult.
Your kid is not a robot. It’s so shitty these parents have done this kind of stuff before and have NOT given the kid a blanket.
Neglect is the chronic inattention or omission on the part of the care giver to provide for the basic emotional and/or physical needs of the child, including food, clothing, nutrition, adequate supervision, health, hygiene, safety, medical and psychological care and education. Emotionally neglected children do not receive the necessary psychological nurturance to foster their own growth and development. The consequences of neglect can be very serious, particularly for young children. The child who does not receive adequate emotional, cognitive and physical stimulation, physical care and nutrition may experience lags in development. These lags in development may be irreversible.
SOME FORMS OF ABUSE & NEGLECT:
*Rejection, ignorance and isolation
*A lack of shelter
*Emotional neglect or lack of supervision
*Deliberate locking children out of the house
So if you think pulling this childish bullshit is ok, I will break into your house and steal whatever funds it takes to care for your child. I’ll fight you in the morning because you’re a garbage human being.
Stop teaching your damn kid they’re worthless. YOU made them.
Just so y’all know… in the state of Texas, this is grounds for me to call CPS on your ass.
And I will, too.
Same in Illinois and I fucking will.
TBH all the people coming out in support of locking kids outside for missing curfew need to just not have kids
Reminder that one of the victims of Ted Bundy (the serial killer) was locked out of her house because of missing curfew, and he offered his “help.”
This can get your child KILLED.
Also, not everyone chooses to get home late.
There may be traffic, or an accident of some kind, or they may simply have a shit sense of time or direction.
This is an example of what the research calls “authoritarian” parenting–parents are in control, they set the rules, and if children don’t follow them, they face strict punishments.
Authoritarian parenting is, on the whole, not effective. Research rather unanimously supports this point. It produces kids who are generally well-behaved, but that’s because they are typically trying to follow the rules. There is a world of difference between raising a child who follows the rules and one who thinks for themselves, and research supports this: kids raised in authoritarian households score poorer on moral reasoning than kids raised with slightly more permissive, democratic (but still authoritative–that is, having some authority) parents.
In some populations, authoritarian parenting like this is associated with higher risk of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
Kids from these kinds of families form poorer relationships with their parents and are more likely to reject them in adolescence. They are less resourceful (since they come from a household where too much initiative or individuality is punished), more likely to engage in delinquency over time (because they aren’t taught independent moral reasoning, just a black-and-white Right and Wrong dichotomy) and less self-reliant (because their parents never allowed them to develop their own skills for navigating the world).
Think about all of that, especially that last point, in relation to this photo. Others have already covered how parenting like this can be abusive. But if you’re late coming home and you encounter this, what do you take away?
It’s possible you learn, “I must follow my parents’ rules.” That’s what people hope this will teach. But here are some alternate interpretations:
I am a guest in my own home. My right to a safe environment can be revoked at any time.
Because the punishment is the same either way, it doesn’t matter if I’m a minute later or out all night.
Punishing me is more important than working with me. In general, punishment is more important than cooperation.
I cannot trust my parents with extenuating circumstances. I must adhere precisely to their rules or risk losing access to my home.
Parenting like this doesn’t give children or adolescents the opportunity to develop their own problem-solving skills, because their parents treat their independence as a personal threat. And that’s utterly ridiculous, because in the adult world, there aren’t rules. No one says you have to be home by 9. No one says you have to make your bed before you can have breakfast. Sure, laws exist, but the rules enforced by authoritarian parents are so much more restrictive than any public code in a democratic country. By enforcing a rigid set of rules, authoritarian parents attempt to do the thinking for their children instead of allowing them to develop their own habits of self-regulation by experiencing natural consequences.
Look, kids and adolescents are smart. At that stage in our lives, we exist to learn. We’re learning from school, learning from our parents, learning from our surroundings. We learn from consequences, yes, but when it comes to preparing a kid for independence, the most realistic types of consequences are those that are non-arbitrary and natural.
Does a kid stay up too late on a school night? Guess what, they’re gonna be hella tired tomorrow. Being exhausted isn’t pleasant. They’ll probably learn to self-regulate. You don’t need to take away their phone privileges or dock their alliance, because those consequences have nothing to do with the behavior you’re trying to teach. What’d be more absurd would be punishing that kid by blaring loud music the following night–that exacerbates the mistake and teaches the kid that parents are there to make a bad situation worse.
Did your kid stay out late and you’re concerned about their safety? You don’t implement a consequence that exacerbates the issue of their un-safety. Congratulations, you just made their entire home feel unsafe. Guess who’s probably going to spend more nights at friends’ now?
The alternative to authoritarian, “my way or the highway” parenting is an approach that’s a bit more permissive and democratic. It’s not lax, “anything goes” parenting, and it’s not uninvolved, neglectful parenting, but parenting with a balance of parental authority and children’s independence. (Helpfully, this is referred to in the literature as authoritative parenting, which is not at all confusing.) Authoritative parenting like this is well supported by the research. It gives children the support they need to grow and strive and allows them to develop skills necessary for leading a successful, independent life, but also gives parents a degree of authority in their families. It is not consequence-free parenting, it is just not punitive parenting.
And research shows it works. Kids raised in these permissive, authoritative families are as well-behaved, if not better, than kids raised under strict, authoritative parents. They learn to self-regulate, to navigate the world, to solve problems, to seek resources. They are much better equipped to interact in a world where the ultimate overseer of their daily interactions is not a harsh, punitive dictator… but themselves.
throwinghalos
Gina’s snapchat #6/3.21.16
Snapchat: hereisgina
Caption: the difference between Rafael and Michael!
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO
